i duno what is happening to me recently, thgs doesnt seem to be in my way also n i even recall tt disappointing match after a long time w/o thinking of it. i once felt that i was one of the top players in N-zone but after tt thrashing i dun even think of that anymore and i really wanna train hard to get all the win out there.

i was kinda shocked and also disappointed with myself when i score my lowest ct score ever which was 10 although i knew it was literature but i didnt expect to score such a low mark with fail i expect my self to score like 15 like tt but i failed and this make me kinda worry abt my lit eoy paper cos i just want to keep a A1 for tt subject and mr tan say this test nt counted in CA which i kinda dun believe it but hopefully he keep his word if nt i am kinda over oredi. i found 2 reasons which led to this disaster and i knew is either something wrong with my brain or tt thg affecting me and i knew i have to find the answer asap n i thot i knew it when i receive my home econ paper but it wasnt n in fact it wasnt the mark i targeted at all so i was thinking a long time which paper i took first n in the end i think lit paper was the last i took so i couldnt find any answer but when i got back my el ct which was also nt tt good but i dun expect it at all so in the end i most likely confirm that it is tt thg that is affecting me but i cant 100% confirm until i get back my chinese paper.

i just realise tt i start to hate attention seeker and ppl who r scare of lonely cos when is like when i just woke up or wad thn these ppl who hate silent will talk sth which is irritating for me la but is when i m feeling ok or high thn ti would be ok. as for those attention seeker i totally cant stand it, when i was doing work or listening thn this ass will make some noise just to get the attention of someone, i wouldnt mind it at all if i am far away from him or i cant hear it but is just too annoying for me to accept it. i also knew tt i am a person who dont dare to voice out myself like to play stage game or others.


ytd went out for dinner at mac and after the meal i went to jollibean n wanting to bought a pancake n there was a couple in front of me be4 a lady barge in n say what she want and i thot what a singaporean but thn she ask the auntie to serve the couple first thn the auntie go prepare her order thn she ask her to serve me first which i kinda appreciate it, she find reasons to say to serve me first like i look like i m in a rush which i was nt but thn i say nvm but she just insist on her principles so i had to accept it and thx her n she gave me a smile back. i find it kinda rare to see this type of person who insist on their principles and a good singapore citizen after all haha.